Effects of Deployments on Families and Soldiers
Deployments in the National Guard affect both the soldier and their families during this hard time. Nevertheless most families make it through the tour stronger then ever. Service members who have children at the time of deployment may be affected more by missing out on some of the most important times in their lives. Also, being miles apart can put a lot of tension on the soldier’s family and jobs. During these hard times both the soldier and the spouse need to keep positive communication from the beginning to the end of the deployment without making it stressful for either spouse. That could mean keeping the soldier up to date on their child’s progress through the year.
Many of the soldier’s in today’s army have children and some of those have grown up with their father or mother gone for long periods of time. Tours for some military families are a routine part of life for them. So when the time comes for that solider to deploy the spouse knows what to do. So that being said it is on the spouse back home to take care of the kids and everything else that was left behind. Sometimes the soldier has to leave their new born baby or maybe even before the birth. These milestones that have been missed can never be given back. The deployed child’s parents may be gone to miss these precious moments in a parent’s life that only comes around so often. Like the babies first steps or first words are two of the most major events for a newborn. On the other hand, they won’t be missing all the dirty diaper changing’s and constant crying in the middle of the night, but there is always payback when they get home. As of now though, they are miles apart from one another and need to be there for one another no matter what.
Being so far apart from their significant other can put a lot of stress on a relationship. Now that the soldier is away, the spouse back home now has to take on double the work load as before the deployment. Before the soldier left there was a system at their household, someone cooks while the other does the dishes or one takes the trash out and vacuums while the other mops and cleans the windows. All that has changed now since the tour and all of these responsibilities that were once split are now one person’s chore. Now
adding on a new born baby to the equation can get even more hectic. Not only is all the responsibility of cooking and cleaning on the dependant, but making sure the child is not getting into anything and cleaning the kid also. It can become very stressful to one person having everything tossed at them at once if not prepared for it. Some military spouses might feel disoriented or overwhelmed in the beginning, not knowing what to do. There might be residual numbness, sadness, and a feeling of being alone at tasks left undone around the house. Being far apart from their significant other creates a hole which can only lead to many feelings that are only amplified by the extensive tasks left unfinished. On a positive note, the ability for each of them to communicate with each other is a great moral boost and can only be successful if done right.
For almost all military families, reconnecting with their loved ones while deployed is a very rewarding experience. It gives each of them time to tell each other how their respective days have been going. Have it be stories on what the child has done today or specific events that affect both of them as a whole. It is always good to stay up to date with one another and involve each other in some decision making processes so that the solider still has a feeling of being apart of their spouses life. Some families have found it nice to communicate in all daily activities back home for example, reading books together, talking to one another each day, or scheduling to pray at the same time. For some that can make it seem like the spouse never left. It is also equally important not to over communicate back home. Some military spouses back home may find it frustrating that the soldier wants to be in every single task all at once and every single day. That soldier and spouse should always remember to use flexible communication that addresses their needs at different times. Recognizing that communication is not entirely under the service members, sometimes it helps military spouses choose when it is necessary for the soldier to make a decision for the greater good of the family. Although some effects of communication and other stress triggers for both the soldier and spouse might be significant, most families adjust very well.
There are many different effects deployments have on the soldier’s and their
families. Some of these effects may cause concentration issues for both spouses on their respected lives. These soldiers miss so much of what goes on back home from being so far apart for so long that it is good to keep communication at an appropriate level. Too much at once might put more strain on the relationship that initially needed. That could include the soldier missing out on important milestones in their child’s life, have it be its first steps or words maybe the first day of school. These are some of many stressors that each family must face today during this time of war. As long as there is good support from everyone around them and a good base in the relationship beforehand, it can only turn out stronger in the end.