Cause and Effect Essay
Most relationships start out the same, a couple deeply in love and they decide to get married, but the spark dies and they end up getting a divorce because of a reason or another. Divorce is something that no parent wants their child to go through, yet sometimes it’s inevitable, but are the causes really worth the effects it has on the child of the parents getting the divorce? Divorce can be caused by many things and will be discussed throughout this paper and the effects are mainly on the children of the divorced parents thus they will be mainly focused on.
Causes of divorce vary from couple to couple but some of them are more likely reasons than others. A major cause of divorce is the fact that some couples are rushed into getting married either by their partner, their parents, or something else rushed them into the marriage. Then they find out what they had wasn’t really special and they end up getting a divorce. Another cause, which I am familiar with, is arguing. My parents argue a lot and my mom says that as soon as my siblings and I are grown up she will indefinitely get a divorce. Arguing and not talking about it is what my parents do a lot and I believe it will actually lead to a divorce when my siblings are older. Money also tends to be one of the real big issue in divorce, when one spouse makes all monetary decisions and one does not agree with it, it can cause a conflict between them. Some spouses even tend to hide the fact that they are spending money behind each other’s back causing problems and eventually divorce. Financial responsibilities that follow the birth of a child can also cause a conflict in the couple. Couples tend to not talk about their issues for one reason or the other and they end up just getting tired of it therefore getting a divorce. Cheating is one of the bigger causes of divorce for obvious reasons, partners seem to find it hard to try and trust their significant other even if the other person is trying hard to regain their trust. It’s hard for the other person to forgive their spouse so in the end it may lead to a divorce.
Believe it or not, children are also one of the big causes of divorce. Many couples think that having children is something they have to have since they are married, when in fact, an unwanted pregnancy could become the downfall of a happy marriage. Another big cause can be that someone in the relationship is being abused, most likely it being the female. Most often, the person getting abused takes the abuse because they have kids or they feel like they really can’t do anything about it when in fact they can do something about it. If they have kids that’s a better cause for them to get out of the abusive relationship. Some people say it is better to stay with that abusive guy or woman so that your kids won’t have to go through the despair divorce causes but it is better for a person to get a divorce. Many children will witness their parents get in a divorce and for the few that don’t tend to have friends that have parents that are divorced. When a child grows up with divorced parents, especially at a lower age since the child is not old enough to understand, he/she may think it was their fault and blame themselves for his/her parents breaking up. The effects on children that are around the ages of 6-8 are that they continue to have fantasies about reconciling their parents. These children are less likely to blame themselves for the divorce. Children at this age have been found to experience intense grief over the loss of not having one of their parents living with them.
The older child, ages 9 to 12, is better able to understand their parents’ divorce. They are likely to consciously express their disapproval and tend to take the side of one of their parents. Divorce clearly increases the risk of children suffering from psychological and behavioral problems. Troubled children are more likely to develop problems with anger, disobedience, and rule violations. Many resilient children report painful memories and ongoing worries about divorce, their relationships with their parents, and their parents’ relationship with each other because of divorce. In conclusion, divorce may have some big causes but if you can work through the issues it might save the child some emotional pain growing up and thus may lead to a better life. However, if the causes are as bad as physical abuse or emotional abuse then it might be better to just file for divorce than let your child see you getting physically or emotionally abused. “There is no such thing as a “broken family.” Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family. And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”